My last post, which contained my current gear list, was posted to both the r/AppalachianTrail subreddit on Reddit as well as the A.T. Class of 2019 Facebook group, where I asked for comments and suggestions.
I was a bit taken aback at the different tones each platform's replies came in. While many of the suggestions were similar from both, the Facebook group was much friendlier and open to my explanations and rebuttals.
On Reddit, there was a lot of snark and condescension. The mere fact that I wasn't agreeing 100% with every suggestion somehow meant I'm being dismissive or difficult, etc ... and I worked pretty hard to keep that thread from devolving into a real shit show. The end result is debatable. There's definitely some good conversations going there, but to be honest... this isn't the first time I've encountered condescending redditors making snap judgments without context in that same subreddit.
Trying to explain to these folks who can sometimes treat the "Ultralight" concept as a fundamentalist treats their holy tomes, that I NEED certain things in that gear list - at least for the time being - as means to cope with some of the lingering anxieties that are still trying to sabotage this trip for me.
To a seasoned hiker who wants to shave ounces at every possible corner, bringing two power banks and two water filtration systems seems like insanity. I understand that. But I'm approaching this from a different angle, one of a mentally ill person who's fighting a constant war against self doubt and fear that needs that little extra security blanket to help nudge me to the southern terminus - where I won't be able to easily turn back from once there.
Then after the days turn into weeks and weeks into months, I'll adapt to my new life and old anxieties are replaced with new ones - at which point I'll know better if I need that much power, or that much water. And I can pare down accordingly from there.
But as with my former job, it's clear that a lot of my hiking peers will also never fully understand the severity of anxiety disorders and are thus quick to judge harshly in their understandable ignorance.
All the same, I know I am pretty inexperienced... and it would be silly of me to disregard the words from those with much more backpacking experience than I. This is not lost on me, and I try to make that very clear even when I'm disagreeing. I'm just trying to respond to them with the context that informed my choice.
I'm not trying to be a stubborn asshole when I hold my ground on power banks. I'm just saying I've considered their weight and I'm ok with taking it on for the benefits it will provide me.
At the end of the day, it's me carrying it at any rate.
And to say I've been dismissive would be incorrect, as my future revised list will bear out.
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